Dear Seattle

Its been 12 weeks since I arrived here. These 12 weeks of internship have been the most joyful experience of my life in USA. What is that thing which makes this city so special for me? Well, is it because of my exciting job at amazon? May be. Or is it because of the company of the cutest couple on Earth? Indeed. Or is it because of the mountains and the lakes which surround this beautiful city? Definitely. All these reasons and many more have only increased my love for Seattle. But there is more to that.

Before coming to Seattle, I was tensed, afraid and confused due to my inner struggles. Well, when I now think about it, I couldn’t find any valid reason for that misery and pain, given that I had multiple jobs in hand, a perfect GPA and above all, I had the most amazing roommates, friends and a family away from home. Still, something was missing. Something which I was unable to find till now.

Ever since I graduated four years back, the various thoughts of going away from family, losing friends, growing responsibilities, family expectations were simply piling up in my mind. I started sleeping less, stopped running, stopped writing and sketching and many more. I was dying inside, slowly. Unable to bear that pain, I finally decided to go away from everything and everyone and pursue higher studies in a very whimsical situation. Suddenly I was busy preparing for masters, time went and there I was at the airport, about to leave everything I’ve ever loved. My family, my friends, my beloved Mumbai and above all, my country.

Life of a master student is never an easy one. Pressure for getting a job, maintaining distant friendships, struggles in daily chores were more than enough to break me. Only thing that kept me going was hope. Hope to make everyone proud. Hope to achieve something in life. This hope was kept alive by my friends, roommates and fellow master students with whom I used to share my sorrows. Eventually, they became an inseparable part of my life for the years to come and forever. But then why I wasn’t smiling? Why I wasn’t happy for what I have achieved so far? Well, the answer was always in front of me, but I never realized until now.

Nothing can make you happy unless you want to be. Thats what I have realized after coming to Seattle. With the burden of so many regrets in life, I was not ready to let go the past and move ahead in future. In this process, I forgot to love myself!

Life is never going to be easy on us. That does not mean we should stop living for ourselves. Take out some time to play your favorite sport, go for a hike to become one with the nature. Scream on top of your lungs when you reach the summit. Listen to the music that touches your soul. Learn the instrument you always wanted to play. Dance as if no one is watching. Go to gym, build yourself or just run for miles. Learn to cook new things, eat the food you love. Explore places, go for a long drive with friends. Work hard in office and needless to say, party harder.

There is nothing like watching a beautiful sunset sitting alone on a lake shore. So peaceful, so serene. At that moment, you realize that there is nobody with you but your peace of mind. Then you just smile and think that life is so beautiful and you should be grateful to be alive.

That’s exactly what I have realized in Seattle. I finally found time for myself. I finally found happiness in my solitude.